For over a decade, this 30-year-old man’s mother has been providing a loving home for foster children. Before she passed away, she asked him to make a heartfelt promise: to continue caring for the foster children in her place.
Despite being diagnosed with heart failure, his mother defied expectations by living for an additional seven years. After her passing, two of her foster children, J and P, came to live with him.
At just 19 years old, he took in J, an 8-year-old with significant behavioral issues stemming from previous trauma.
“My life changed dramatically,” he said. “However, I quickly developed a deep affection for him. Despite the challenges and the pain, he was an incredible child whom I loved with all my heart.”
“He is now 19 years old and continues to live with me. After recently graduating from high school, I have decided not to rush his move-out plans until he feels fully prepared. Our relationship is strong and supportive.”
Currently 16 years old, P received his companion when he was just 9. Despite his best efforts, P struggles to form a bond due to his significant special needs.
J’s behavioral demands never bothered him, but P’s do. P consistently frustrates him, requiring him to remind himself that P’s behavior is more akin to that of a 3 or 4-year-old child rather than that of a teenager.
He wholeheartedly supported his mother’s decision to take in P. However, he knew that after her passing, managing the boy’s care would become a significant challenge for him.
“I never agreed to this,” he said. “I didn’t agree to care for him for the rest of my life; that was never part of the deal.”
“Six months have passed since my mother’s death, and I promised myself I would give it my best effort. Despite my efforts to care for P during this time, I’m struggling to manage. I’ve informed my social worker that P needs to be relocated by the end of the month because I’m unable to handle it any longer.”
He is passionate about being a foster dad and plans to keep doing it in the future. However, he currently faces challenges in meeting P’s needs.
He feels deeply remorseful for committing to support his mother until he turns 18 and is now unable to keep that promise.
He’s starting to feel resentment towards P, despite knowing that this isn’t fair to the child. P deserves a family that can offer him the love and care that he is unable to provide.
“‘Call me selfish, call me scum—whatever you think of me, I guess I deserve it,’ he said in conclusion. What guidance would you offer him?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
