Only two months ago, a brand new mother who is only 20 years old welcomed her first baby. Normally her little one wakes around 3 a.m.
The moment her baby wakes up she hastily goes down to the kitchen on the first floor and makes a bottle. Thereafter she changes the diaper and feeds the baby.
Just three nights before she was so tired out by the baby that when it cried she asked her boyfriend who is only 23 years old for help in changing his diaper while she got ready with the bottle.
He agreed to assist but when she returned after making up the bottle he still hadn’t done anything.
Her baby cried but according to him there was no need for a diaper change. After checking herself, she found out that made her feel annoyed because he did require new one indeed.
“On that night I really needed some extra support,” she said. “I told him ‘You should have checked her diaper properly’ but he maintained that he did it indeed,” followed by heavy sigh and then asleep again.
While I was nursing in bed somewhere around five minutes later my partner suddenly jumped up from the bed. Even when I asked what was wrong he did not say anything and started dressing up. Then without saying anything he banged the door and rushed downstairs shouting phrases like ‘I hate you’ or ‘You are trying to make me look like a bad father-‘ among others hurtful comments.
Feeling tricked, worn out and still taking care of the baby, I didn’t think my comment was very important. I resolve not to bring it up until the baby dozes off again.
Once her baby was fast asleep again, she went down to find her boyfriend waiting for her with accusations that she was making him look like a bad parent on purpose. And soon enough they were embroiled in an argument.
Just like before, he reminded her that if she didn’t leave, he’d go away again; so she had no choice but go upstairs because of how tired she was from everything he kept saying to them all the time during their disagreements.
I felt so ashamed when one of the other bridesmaids saw everything. This was the first time he spoke to me like this or behaved towards me in such a manner.
But when she got off the phone, there was an explosion of rage from her boyfriend who said that even if it killed him she would never see him again. To which she retorted: “Just go!”
“She described it as such: ‘He yells and throws things at me angrily. Somehow or another I always find myself fleeing downstairs just for him to come after me yelling even more loudly about how it’s my fault we’re in this mess.’”
Flower Boys a Fresh Take on Traditional Wedding Roles and How to Incorporate Them into Your Big Day
I feel exhausted, overwhelmed with tears, as he finally apologizes and takes me back to bed. Adjusting to life with a new baby has left me struggling to manage my feelings. My partner isn’t very supportive during my postpartum struggles and hormonal imbalance. They often react harshly to my mood swings, even though I do my best to manage everything.
I felt so ashamed when one of the other bridesmaids saw it all. This was the first time he talk to me like this or behaved toward me in such a manner.
What suggestions would you make for her?